New Blog Alert! A Blog for Parents or soon-to-be Parents

I started this blog as a way to collect some of the things I learned about how words change from the time before you became a parent to the time you actually became a parent. Especially as you add more kids (We have added 5 kids to our family!), these words can change even more. I am sure other parents who check out this blog will agree, understand, and/or possibly even empathize with these word changes. So enjoy and feel free to share!

Parent Dictionary: Before and After Kids Entry 1-3

Diapers

Before: That doesn’t look so hard. Fold, fold, strap, strap. Done. What a cute baby!!

After: WTF?! How the hell does this thing work? Point it down! Point it down! Hon, I need help! I’m under fire and the fumes are causing me to lose consciousness!

2 a.m.

Before: 1) A possible bed time for you. 2) Typical time a bar closes. 3) Time where you are in your deepest sleep.

After:  1) The time, without fail, one of your kids will enter your room with one of the following issues: need to go to the bathroom, already went to the bathroom in their bed, need to throw up, already threw up in their bed, monsters are real, or they want a slice of pizza. Also, as our kids have grown older, this is the perfect time, in their mind, to tell you about the new rock in their collection or that the cat purred in her ear and it tickled.

Kid’s Night at Restaurants

Before: Why did my wife and I come to this place? There are kids everywhere. Ugh.

After: A list of Kids eat free locations you have printed, saved on your computer, and on your phone. Unless a special occasion, you will refuse to enter a restaurant unless at least one kid eats free for some reason. 

Bonus: For parents of more than 2 kids, you learn to either find adult friends to go with you so you have enough "qualifying adults" so each child gets a free meal or you simply read the fine print and only go to restaurants that don't have the restriction of "one free kid meal per adult". Those places are just cruel.